A Friend Indeed

Today marks the true beginning of 2017 for me.. the new year! This day felt like the true beginning because today one ritual made another one look utterly futile in comparison. It's not that I live a life with only a few rituals but I do make an attempt to have logical and relevant reasons behind the actions I practice. The ritual I am referring to is the one where I get to meet a genuine friend of mine. It so happens that we meet properly for about 2 to 3 hours about once or twice in a year. These moments seem to fly by so quick but remain as precious memories that I hope stay with me for the rest of my life because they are the source of all the energy I tap into when I try to drive myself forward in all my endeavours. A true, genuine friendship is the most rare thing in this world in my opinion. It has the strength to be the foundation and enhance any relationship to a new level altogether. A bond that allows you to celebrate each other's successes and smoothen out issues that lie as wrinkles in your paths. Among those two boundaries, a whole spectrum of interactions exist on which trust, self-esteem, self-respect, and genuine inspiration emanates endlessly. I wish everyone gets the chance to experience such a friendship and when you do, be a little selfish and try your best to hold on to them. And just like that, the age old ritual of watching the clock strike the midnight hour is rendered useless in light of meeting a friend who knows how to illuminate my mind with positivity and goodness in one way or another. Thank you for being a constant in my changing life. You know who you are and I wish to see you soon and all the very best for your future endeavours!

Dévarsh

Why being spiritual is better than being religious?

This has always been a crystal clear thought for me but it seems many seem confused and/or deluded between the two states. So let us explore them briefly and I will attempt to present why one is better or more universal than the other. Firstly, being religious can mean many different things to different people since there are so many religions to consider. And I don't believe it's fair to consider the major religions of the world only either because that's still not inclusive enough. So, the point is that being religious for a Catholic can be very different than being religious for a Muslim or a Hindu or a Buddhist (and so on) depending on what aspect of religiosity the person puts emphasis on (this is where subjectivity comes in you see). This is where the definition of being spiritual needs to be made so that we have something to measure up to. In my limited understanding, I have observed that being spiritual entails being in contact with your human side, your morals, ethics, having a genuine caring intent towards individuals and communities alike. That is where it begins (for me), and it also leads to being in a state of wonder which fuels you to strive for becoming better. Now, I know what you're thinking.. This is all nice, and poetic but I don't feel like being in contact with my human side every day because something/someone's ticked me off! I'm saying that's completely fair and the beauty of it is that the things I've mentioned are in a cyclic chain and trigger one another. So, why is that a big deal? Consider this, spiritual experiences are not limited to anyone believing in any faith at all. This may seem as a tall assertion but you should know that all major scientists that first came in contact with new findings describe their experiences as something spiritual. So, an agnostic astrophysicist can be on top of a mountain observing and exploring the night sky while sheets of clouds unfurl on the land under the mountain and this surreal moment can be defined as a spiritual experience! The observation to be made here is that being religious is in fact a subset under being spiritual because religion is not able to reach out to those atheists, and agnostics that are out there witnessing extraordinary things. As a side note, I'd like to add even though there is a majority of religious people on comparison to agnostics, we as humans should realize that we do spend a great part of our life coming to terms with our own existentialism queries and of our religious faiths so lets do ourselves a favour and understand that we really are all in this together and we all deserve these experiences and motivation to be better.

Exploring My 'Siddhant': Principle

Have you ever been in a situation where you are well aware that something around you is not quite right and you actually get affected by it? I have and it happened today in a final exam. Definitely not the time and place to stop and ponder about where you stand. But being prepared for the worst possible exam and being faced with a simpler one in return gives you all kinds of time. And the thrill one gets from thinking about something they are passionate about is unparalleled and always finds a way to the surface.. no matter the place, or time. What had happened was simple, my neighbours in the exam hall had decided to start discussing their exam in low murmurs. I was enraged at first and I knew what the outcome of their act would be should they be caught. And the fear of those consequences haunted me more than either one of them and so I hesitated. And then the thought occured to me, I had studied more than 12 hours a day for 6 days a week to get to this exam hall! If I was going to remain dormant in the fear that my examination could also be questioned, I was also just as guilty as them. And that's how I convinced myself that the effort I put in should be my pride, grades come and go but the principles you build yourself on are essential. This whole process is designed to expose students to situations where their minds are challenged academically and emotionally (in more subtle ways ofcourse). And I felt great because I learned more about myself in that last hour of the exam than I had in the past 6 months! I've thought about this day many times. The only thing I've learned in my life is that everyone deserves a second chance but it has to come in the disguise of a curse before and a blessing after or else we can't help anyone. What would you do should it happen to you? Would you act identically? Or would you leave it be?

Discovering Rühaaniyat : Spirtuality

There has been a tumultuous whirlpool of thoughts in my mind for the past few days and today.. the storm has passed. Dealing with death in the family is not something one can endure by themselves and it becomes only easier with open communication with others loved ones.

So, how did these unending, and twisted thoughts suddenly leave me alone I wondered. A certain conversation with someone I know probably had a lasting impression and influence on me. I feel that I drew many powerful conclusions despite their simplicity in which they were presented.

I realize even more now.. that judging is a big part of the problem from the very beginnings of when you are introduced to a new environment, practice, person, or object. All that I really need to judge is whether the karma I am about to do is good or not. And thankfully, everyone is born with that inner voice that constantly guides you to make these decisions. But at the same time, we all know in our hearts how many times we follow that inner guide. Like a farmer, we sow our own futures with today's karma and tomorrow, they will materialize into something that will either help you or resist you from reaching higher spiritual grounds. So what if you haven't done good karma till today (whether it is an immoral thought.. or an action that had immoral means to an end.. or evil ends themselves)? You will definitely be paying for that but you have already been blessed with this human body. This birth is relevant because it means that the creator does see something in you that you can cultivate and reach that source/creator. There is a 'lakshya' (goal) and if the creator has made everyone in his own image, then you also have that 'lakshan' (lakshya-anu: a part and parcel of the ability to reach that 'lakshya'). On the topic of different births a soul takes, a question had arisen whether the creator was just a selfish person who had made millions of creatures just to hear his own praises in their prayers. And the same principle was used to rid the doubt.. If everyone has a part and parcel of the creator, you aren't worshipping anyone else but yourselves to start! The topic of balance also came up a few times.. Balance of keeping a good personal life, professional life, and spiritual life as well. And often times, people never have the time and/or energy for the spiritual work they need to do. Firstly, in this new birth and new awakening, you may not realize the paths you have had to cross to get till here and so you may not see the importance of this spiritual work you need to do. And like a mother has to sometimes force her child to stop playing and do their homework.. Or like a dirty vessel has to be scraped and scrubbed in order for it to be cleaned properly.. Action must be taken. And you cannot have excuses about your health or family environment or any physical adversity in this external world because this work entails interacting your soul with the Supreme soul (atma to Param-atma). You wouldn't stop eating just because you're a bit ill.. You wouldn't stop loving your family either.. So, why let it stop you from continuing to nurture a bond with the creator? This is where the importance of your faith comes in as well. Our minds are always comparing results we get from the amount of efforts we put in.. Something with greater results and fewer efforts seems easy, and the opposite also. And let it be known to yourself that the results you will receive will take long durations, and seem an exercise in futility. It's important to be gradual in this process. If one is being introduced to it, even more important.. like a baby coming into this world. It's fed with liquids at first, semi-solids, and finally solids as well when it can digest it. So, I've learned to give myself the time and environment for this knowledge as well.. to discover it, challenge it, finally believe it and then digest it. Another important thing I realized with more emphasis this time around is the fact that this knowledge should come to you at its natural pace as well. It keeps its sanctity and purity in this way. It's not like knowing this knowledge will change your daily interactions with people. You will still be living, and speaking to people with the same respectful and courteous way.. but you will finally be able to see yourself with a clearer lens and make yourself ready to reach out into the abundance of energy and harmony within. I am not speaking from experience but every great person who has ever walked the planet has only learned about themselves and changed themselves to attain their goals. So before we embark upon becoming great, realized individuals.. let's start by being great humans first and then hopefully, we will be able to commence a journey to higher spiritual learning as well.

-Dévarsh-

Destinations

Woke up to something a couple of days ago that no one really wants to hear or realize.. The news of someone in my family passing away. All of a sudden, there is a wave of nostalgia that crashes over your reality and lifts you in its rift. But before you know it, the reality rocks you back to the ground and shakes you to your core about how special that person WAS (in their physical presence) and all that you could have done to let them know what you felt for them and appreciate their efforts they made for you. And I wonder why people behave like the lyrics to a great ghazal say.. 'Tum jab chalé jaogé to sochéngé.. Humné kya khoya.. Humné kya paaya'.. If there is something you lose, it's greater memories and if there's something you gain, it's nothing but another reason to regret and repent not doing something you had that inner hunch for. People always seem to wait for the best time to come out and express .. at the 'right' or 'better' time. And moments like these remind us of how special the present tense really is. But so many people think that showing emotion is a sign of weakness but the same people seem to forget that very perspective when they can't contain their anger! It's not rocket science.. We all inherently know in our hearts that there is a genuine need to express gratitude and appreciation more than other things because that love is the only thing that fuels people to do more good work. Most people already know the amount of time and energy it takes to lift a person's spirits can take a long time but it may shatter into bits by a single event. It's a pity when I see family and friends get so close to each other that they can't see anything but each other's flaws. And so it's moments like these that make me step beyond and genuinely think about how special the people around me are because they're molding me into a better person than I ever would have been able to become myself by any capacity.

And then we look out in this 'real' and 'practical' world of ours where people are studying sophisticated subjects and later working to earn a living.. And we see them lose parts of themselves behind producing a career instead of taking their lives by it's reigns! What was it that you wanted to earn that money for? How do you even know that you'll even hit the old age when you hope to retire and be able to spend all this that you have gathered? So, why not start to aim for happiness in all we do.. and have faith that all the rest we need or want will find itself around us in due time.

In the past couple of days, I've realized that death can turn from being a lifeless word to something beyond feeling shock, fear, and emotionally stranded! And it's important to know that it is inevitable as well.. not just the fact that we'll endure it ourselves but that we may have to endure the ones of our loved ones first! So, why not let it be a reason to live life with youthful vigor, with zest, and dreams to conquer yourself and celebrate memories. Because life can be as beautiful and simple as you desire but it can also be just as arduous and painful too. The choice is yours. Time may not always be by your side.. So, even in the doldrums of life.. Keep your faith strong because if not today, you WILL certainly reach your destination tomorrow but make sure you live your life to the fullest till then!

-Dév-

A System Made By Casteists?!

Still recovering from the shock and sadness of all that Uttarakhand, India has been through during this month. Thinking about how all those people may have come with a desire to find a pious environment of the shrines, and the sights of the natural hot springs and the raging waves of Madakini. But everyone's karma gets back to them in one way or another; and as a modern science student, it only makes sense that the infrastructure had been old, weak and deteriorated and led the demolition of an entire city. But is there something higher than just the science, the numbers, and the politics? As a Hindu, it only makes sense to say that everyone's karma comes back to them in one way or another. Further, the shrines and temples in Uttarakhand are of Lord Shiva. He is known as the the 'Destroyer (of evil)' in the universe and is one of the three fundamental gods in Hindu religion and mythology.

Along with those thoughts, I had another interesting conversation with my father today upon Hinduism. We started talking about things makes people connect with each other (as acquaintances/friends) and what is it that really makes individuals come closer to some others and/or virtually repel from others. Obviously, he said it begins with what we say. With our bodies and our tongues because as soon as you say or do something that the other person recognizes as their own reaction also, they will react as well (hopefully in a positive way). Also, there's one more thing that connects us - thoughts. People are attracted to others who have similar or at least complementary thinking patterns.

Then we started talking about people in India and how the history shows segregation of people since the very beginnings. We talked about the caste systems and what they mean. In many of the interpretations of this system, it looks to be one made by the powerful thinkers that have tried to keep their power among themselves. However, another insight into this system had been offered to me today via this conversation. The differentiation of people had been done for people to associate with others of similar thoughts and interests.. NOT social stature, nor for sharing their economic class on the hierarchy we see everywhere today!

And then the realization comes that some generations must have poisoned the system by their selfish motives to keep their clans up on these hierarchies that seemed to define success. THAT's when the Brahmins went higher and above all, and guess who hit the rock bottom? The Kshudra caste, the one that maintained, and nurtured the society when it was at an all-time low! The care-takers of the societies got pummeled down to becoming the 'untouchables' of the same society!

So, where were we before all this? The caste system was meant to bring people of similar thoughts and interests together as I mentioned earlier. No one was above or below any other. Brahmins were lovers of learning! While Vaniyas were virtually born to do business. The Kshatriyas were born with fire in their hearts and strength in their bodies and so they became the defenders of this society. The Kshudras were sensitive beings who empathized with others in the society and cared for every person to the best of their abilities. For a second there, the scientist in me wondered how these people were so sure that two Brahnmin parents were going to have a child that was also a Brahnmin by their virtues and thoughts? And the answer was a simple yet powerful one. The virtues of a Brahmin were ones that had been the defining nature of any Brahmin even many generations back! In essence, these virtues and thoughts were inherent in any person who wanted to learn more and more! Inherent values like an animal's but these were meant to bring similar minds together to better one-another in what you truly loved.

Of course I'm not a historian, nor a successor of one. So, I do not know how accurate this is but I believe it has a great degree of truth in it and the lessons it holds are more relevant than the facts themselves. So, let's think ourselves to becoming the genuine person we've set out to become!

-Dévarsh Pandya-

Live and Learn

Today, I experienced first hand public speaking about a valid and genuine topic about the Bhagvad Geeta. It would almost be incorrect to say it was an uplifting experience only. It was the commencement of understanding and applying this transcendental knowledge to the choices I make in life. The speech I delivered was primitive and covered only the surfaces of the deeper meanings. Am I disappointed with myself for this? No, not for the fact that I actually enabled myself to produce at least a few words of what I believe and what I feel. If there is a slight wish, it is for next year to bring me the topic in time and for me to realize that this is my opportunity to explore the Geeta further and create a seamless future where I practice what I preach. And I hope that this is the first of many such opportunities in my life where I can compete to conquer myself and do so in full Krishna consciousness without the expectations of any fruitive results since the eternal destination is Krishna Himself.

With these thoughts,
I bid you farewell for now,

-D.P.

Softness of a flower.. Sharpness of a sword

Another amazing week is in the making as one passes along.. Today, I had the chance to go to a 'swadhyay' again after quite a while and it never fails to enlighten and motivate me to a whole different level. For those that may not know, 'swadhyay' (pronounced swaa-dhyaa-ye) is basically a journey of self realizations and awareness. It is about learning from others by yourself. 'Swa' meaning one by themselves and 'adhyayam' meaning learning about. So, you are learning about yourself in one respect. So, the purpose of today's discussion was a person'a character and their influence.. To study this in defining detail, we chose a great sage of the Ramayan time.. 'Vashist'. The character study was done amazingly and I did not know a few of the allusions but got the major gist of the topic. The central topic was his belief and implementation of a 'self-governing society'.. As strange as it may seem, such a society existed and can exist in a lifestyle if adopted with proper fundamentals. All of this was concluded with an upcoming event of Geeta jayanti which is the birth date of the scripture 'Bhagvad Geeta'.. And the topic for this year is 'Geeta-the soft flower.. Geeta-the sharp sword'. Each participant is meant to present for five minute from whatever they have practiced from memory. I personally did not feel I could manage the task at first but the topic seems to have got me thinking about how this is just another excuse for me to open that amazing 'manual for humanity' as Snehal Patel said today. I think it should be a great way to come back to the genuine religion that I once doubted the existence of!

-Dev

Just Another Day?

'In a world that stands still,
I am the traveller that ages till,
I tire of these feign desires and fulfill the true one,
The illusion of age grows on everyone,
Some accept but others adapt,
Accept loving every form and let,
Others adapt to walk their paths someday..'

A few thoughts that came to my mind as I slowly reached to a realization of my nineteenth birthday and some of its implications (late.. but its never too late to at least think about life, is it?). As long as you can believe that you still have reasons to live on with some vigor,and a touch of zest for life. Some memories filled with love and a smile in humility to accompany you as well.

In other news haha.. today was exam number 6 of my university career. Before I'll get a chance to reflect on the exam, I'll have to build some confidence for tomorrow's Linear Algebra midterm. I believed I had assessment anxiety at the beginning of the year but I think I'm starting to realize that it is nothing more than a lack of confidence which I can only get through the medium of hours of practicing (like most people I presume). So, I shall get back to some writing as soon as I conquer victory over exam número 7!

Till then people of the future,
I bid you a good day

11-11-12

Thinking about a line from my notes. 'The medium IS the message' today when Canada remembers their soldiers and sacrifice from historic wars. Countries try to represent themselves and their values, morale, and so much more via growing mediums in today's day and age. Going from the traditional to the ones that create more impact.. They organize summits, press conferences, video messages for the public, radio shows, news paper articles, and now it's all on the web.. An amalgamation of all that we had in parts earlier, put beautifully on one plate for the reader to digest. But these mediums speak so much about their writer. They expose the thoughts of these people.. Sometimes more than one would like. But what could be the hidden message that we take from remembering these events? From the pictures in history books to preserved artifacts in museums? I believe Canada is a country that has actually learned from these occurrences but we still find our troops and diplomats abroad in other countries fighting for one reason or the other. And I think to myself... Will we ever have any country brave enough to be respected and influential to a level where it needs no armed forces at all. And at a larger level, will we ever have a world where knowledge will be the only respected power and where every country is ready to live in a world where they genuinely embody the thought that 'the best weapon is one that does not need to be fired at all'. Does this sound too much like a fairy tale? Is it really over simplifying the situations of our world? Or is it just that these missions, and wars are excuses for achieving selfish goals of those power hungry individuals? Whatever it may be.. It cannot stop a man to try and dream for a better future at the very least. And the dreams will only come true when the voice of millions become one voice and change the present.. Little by little.. We will acquire the world we have dreamed of.. Some day!

Dev

Round 2

Just as one round of midterms have finished.. I will be diving into round 2 of my midterms for Linear Algebra and Calculus next week. It should be a crazy weekend. I have yet to do a lot of work but I anticipate very few challenges in this review. While I began preparing for what some call 'the hell week', I explored another section of my library that has proven its effectiveness in a matter of couple of hours. It was one of the few times when I was more keen on staying in the library and doing work rather than switch gears and go to Product Design class. The lecture was interesting too and made me think about how my engineering career is defining itself more and more every moment I am in class and every time I make the connections between abstract theories and the heart-wrenching question 'so what?' haha.. And so in under 300 hours, my preparation for round 2 midterms will be tested and so now it's time to depart once more.. Until tomorrow again

Shubh ratri,
Devarsh Pandya

Reality Check

A day of review for my assessments that are coming up.. I realize that I've talked about doing work more than actually doing it this time around compared to last time's preparation so I true to make up for it in the second half of the day. The first half was productive as well but more for other subjects that are not as urgent I feel. Another realization I came across was that reviewing material before testing yourself actually gives you a reality check on where you stand and how much you actually remember. It's not rocket science or anything ground-breaking but it feels like it when you learn it from your own experience. But all in all, happy with what I've achieved so far in the preparation. More work to be done tomorrow for Linear Algebra mainly. Caught a line by the Indian actor, Amitabh Bachchan today on television.. 'Jaise ghar mein ghee he deeye jalatey ho, vaise apne jeevan mein, gyaan ke deep jalao'. It was in relation with a festival that is coming up, Deepavali! The Festival of Lights and the metaphorical eradication of darkness from one's mind and thoughts. The meaning of his line was that we may light oil lamps but we must learn from that act and light out life's path with lamps fueled by our knowledge for THAT is the true medium by which we can rid ourselves from the figurative darkness of ignorance. And with that thought, I shall take rest for a new day tomorrow. I anticipate a very productive and good day.

D.P.

Futuristic

Boarded an early 8:10 bus to get to school earlier and do some work. On my way, I decided to open up my laptop and read a bit from the notes that I decided to take yesterday in my evening lecture. The lady sitting beside me glanced over and asked if I was a first year student. I obviously replied with a 'yes' and a 'why' in my mind haha. And before I knew it, I had spent 40 minutes of my morning listening to a complete stranger tell me how an engineering degree is superior to almost every degree INCLUDING 'Health Science'. Just as a side note, she is only a second year student so it is quite reasonable for me to assume that her opinion is not only largely biased and innaccurate but she is also not a credible source for such a discussion. I imagined later when I got off the bus.. 'What if I wasn't a morning person?' 'What if I was grumpy and sarcastic like Mr.Maunder (the ultimate English teacher). And as much as I would like to adopt that persona for temporary situations like this one, I still believe that one never knows who could prove to be an important connection at some point in the future. The rest of the day was busy and involved creating a CAD model of a hand pump for an engineering assignment and a little but if integration in Calculus class. More work for tomorrow.. But if I get some spare time, I would like to catch up on the U.S. President, Barack Obama'a acceptance speech for term 2 and slightly excited to see how Governor Romney delivered his speech as well. But now there is only one thing to do for today.. Catch some rest and get back to being awesome tomorrow morning.

Love always,
Dev

Semester 1A, Term 2

Officially marking the beginning of term 2 as my 1st round midterms are done for good. I had one of the most awkward moments where I came out of the lecture hall with a friend and his friend. My friend and her were talking about the midterm and how they felt it went for them. She ended the topic with 'wanna catch a beer?' looking at my friend and then me. I waited for my friend to respond and he looked at me as well and I had to say that I wasn't 19 (according to my university ID card) and I didn't drink either... Don't know why it felt so awkward at that time but I'm thinking it had something to do with being asked to get a drink BY A GIRL and having to say no hahaha... So, as you can probably tell, the midterm went smoothly. The written portion was much simpler than I anticipated and the CAD modeling portion was a bit more work than I thought. I think the time constraint was the only thing that was challenging to follow. But then again, I feel that way about every assessment except homework assignments when I seemingly feel I have all the time I would ever need! I was thinking about the assessments of this generation of education and leaning environments and trying to compare the challenges in previous generations (like my father's and uncle's time)... Their challenges were to gather the tools and resources to guide them to study and enhance their learning. WE already get these things via the power point slides or PDF files that professors post up online. Some professors even record their lectures in halls that have such facilities. All this has truly made studying in this modern era a smooth sailing journey as well as one with greater depth and more complicated questions and answers that we discover. And to become a part of the resources that I obtain from school, I decided to become a note-taker for one of my classes. A system where I am known to the people that want my notes but they can remain anonymous. I did it mainly to enhance my own learning but also for a student that I see in the front row of the lecture hall. He is disabled and is the second motivating reason to write these notes. Whether he uses the notes I write up or not is not in my hands and I don't hold any such expectations but I hope it helps someone out there who does need these resources at some point. If I am able to get my hands on so many tools to guide me, I feel I should attempt to give from what I have to offer as well. And the beauty of the system is that I don't have to spend any extra time or effort to do so. Instead, it ensures that I understand the content thoroughly while I potentially help others. So, I hope my efforts help others in whatever way or form possible because I know it'll help me at least. With that happy note, I shall take some rest for tomorrow's busy and adventurous day!

Love,
D.P.

Day 310

There are official only 55 days remaining until the culmination of the year 2012. Like everything we have feared and faced as a human race, this year is just another example of the world's ways of keeping pace. And as they say, 'time and tide, waits for no man'. Speaking of culmination and conclusions, I am one day nearer to finishing my first round of midterm examinations. I will finish my Graphics and Design for Engineers midterm tomorrow and then start to study for the second round of midterms for Linear Algebra and Calculus and the dreaded Physics! But as every day passes, one thought continues to come to mind as I get the chance to rest. I am moving towards my dream of becoming an engineer.. Closer by the days.. It's such an obvious realization yet so moving to conceive. My dream is slowly becoming a reality in front of my eyes and sometimes even without realizing it.. I am changing myself to the ideal version of myself that I've always aspired to be. And like everything else that comes to a close, I shall do the same for this message right here. May the beginning of tomorrow be better than the end of today.

Devarsh Pandya

The second chances

I was watching some video clips of famous and successful people in all professional fields. Some of the most decorated ones are the ones that have acquired great heights of achievements in young ages. Some are advanced in their generation. And a few are the believers of hard-nosed effort with the genuine faith of becoming the best they can be in all walks of life. Even though these people are measured by their successes by many.. Some like me, may have looked closer at how they actually got out of their life's challenges. I find that a second chance in life is actually something that makes or breaks a person for good. The person must realize what will transpire from their decisions after the second chance has been granted. This is often overlooked by many people because they may not face a situation where they need a second chance until some experience that leaves its impressions and lessons in one's mind. The truth of the matter is, I wouldn't have noticed it myself if I hadn't gone through what I did over a year ago. A final year of your education should be every bit enjoyable as it is about it's difficulty and your responsibilities. However, I learned of these balances in a harder way.. Which was terrible for the instant but proved later that I needed that lesson to actually sink within me and teach me about it in that way because I was almost blind and deaf to see and hear what my reality was at the point due to some thoughts and feelings of uncertainty. I tried to distract myself from working at times because I thought I was working properly when I wasn't focusing on school at all. But the numbers never lie.. The reports showed me my failures in an instant and haunted me that summer which was seemingly unending. This had meant another year of attending the high school that I wasn't very attached to anymore because my friends had moved on. This meant a year of repeat telecasted concepts. But there was still some determination and faith I had in myself. I told myself that I can carry myself through this.. My own body was out of breath but the voice in my head had conviction. It was my life. My choice.. And after all the things I had seen.. I knew that educating myself and learning with its true meaning was the only tool I would ever need to reach my goals. And so, marking the end of a year of the year that put me behind my own generation in some respects... Here's to a future where I put in more efforts and time than I an ever imagine.. To the only fear that someone may outwork me.. To the belief that my ability to do work will always be my greatest wealth along with the love and care of my family and friends. After a second chance and all this to come along with it.. What can I ask for?

Thank you to one and all who have been with me through this short but defining part of my life,

D.P.

'Aging'?

The past few days have been a pleasant break from the hectic schedules of school. Firstly, I did finish the first few midterms of my university career. It was something I had never really been anticipating since I was slightly nervous till the exam paper made its way to me. Thoughts of uncertainty hit me after the exams of Linear Algebra and Calculus but the preparation was all I had to keep me confident.. And the practice had been great because I actually had a history of test anxiety that I noticed in my final years. And there is only one way to fight the fear.. I had to empower myself with the knowledge and confidence through practice. It is just the beginning and the truth is that the grade 12 content is very much overlapping in the course content now. However, if there is a goal I have this term.. It is to adopt more habits that will guide me to my goal of being the best student and engineer.. As my father says, the first part of it is to make sure you are accompanied by the same values and goals as you. The second and equally important if not more, is to put in the hours to master the content. This is advice I have gained over the years and it is genuinely the truest. Advice, has changed it's importance and has changed my perspectives in these few days. It has gone from being 'the old, and repeated dialogues of my mother and sometimes father'.. To 'proven practices and guides that carry people to success'.. But I do agree that, it is easier to offer advice than actually follow it in one's life. And why am I thinking of all these things all of a sudden? Well, I have recently finished nineteen years of my life and had the opportunity to reflect upon them and see how to make my time to come.. An even more memorable one.

Panda out.

Junctions of Surprises

So many things have happened in the past few months that I had almost lost track of time. Since my lonely days from summer came to a conclusion as September came along, I had actually found new ways to write and finish incomplete poems, thoughts and actions from my past. These past few days have a been a little above average, a little MORE special and memorable indeed. Let's start with Friday, the day when I was eager that I had the chance to finally skip the entire afternoon from school to go and hang out with friends and shoot pool. Somehow, I ended up among the others in the school to watch the assembly which was screening a low budget film about one of the oldest problems of our society- racism. At first blush, it seemed unnecessary, redundant and almost boring until I went from just hearing the audio to listening to the true vibe of the narration. It was actually quite amazing. At the end, I got a chance to meet with the director, Mr. Paul Saltzman. He is an amazing artist who encapsulates an entire problem in our world, with today's time and circumstance and an original way to not only stop this but solve this. My first surprise was the realization that I was having the chance to talk to the mastermind of such a story. The second was to learn how simply he was able to talk about the solutions to the 'apparently' almost-impossible-to-solve kind of problems. My final surprise for that day was when he pulled out his business card and asked me to write for him because he found my interpretation of his message a little bit intriguing I guess. Was it really? I don't know.. But the gesture was enough to get me feeling important and a little more worthy too. The days that followed involved dancing, meeting friends, being sore and finishing up work. This was because it was one of the most hectic yet enjoyable weekends yet. It is 'navratri', the festival of the nine nights of dancing. So, I went to the temple in Richmond Hill with my family to celebrate the third official night but for me, the first night. I didn't actually expect to dance since I was feeling tired prior to walking in the temple but a couple of my friends caught a glimpse of me and insisted on me to dance along so it turned out to be another crazy night again. I didn't know when I would see them again so I decided to seize the moment.. I surprised myself there, that's not very much like me to as spontaneous as I was that day. I guess times have changed me. The next day was resting and working where I accidentally wrote an essay 4X longer than the requested word limit. The teacher was the one who was surprised at this though since she couldn't understand how I had so much to say about community service being a vital role in the educational system.. haha.. And then the Sunday brought the second october again, the Gandhi Jayanti. Incidentally, my cousin decided to invite us over for 'navratri' that night so we went over and joined in on the dancing at his house again since it was his first navratri after getting married earlier this year in July. As Monday came along, I thought the surprises would come to a conclusion but I guess I was just unstoppable since the calculus test surprised me that it actually was easier than I anticipated. I finished early AND got an extra twenty minutes to check over. So, that was a very convenient start to my Monday. But the biggest and most unexpected guest waited for me at home when I returned. I twist the metal key in the lock, twist the doorknob, and push the door and there it was.. on the coffee table! I quickly made my way there and found that the submission that I was complaining about (in my head) to which I thought was futile since I wanted to publish that piece in the publication that my English teacher at school suggested. SURPRISE! I actually got a letter from that online poetry contest and they said they considered my poem as a semi-finalist in the International Open Poetry Contest! I could barely believe what my eyes had just 'claimed' to read. It took me a minute to realize that they weren't deceiving me and it was the truth. So, now I have the shot at winning some prize in this 'World Poetry Movement' and I may have some work which gets published in the hard cover, leather bound publication of 'Stars In Our Hearts'! So, I hope this good luck, good fortune and surprises continue and find their ways from me to one and all as well.

Love,
Devarsh

The Breaking Dawn

I see a ray from the breaking dawn,
I'm no soldier, just a pawn,

Waiting for my way, to pay,
My tribute to the nation that lay,

In the true east, the land of the brave,
When the others feast, some lived only to crave,

The day when the light would disperse,
And a little patriotic voice whispers,

Whispers what our ancestors voiced,
To the flag that flies, the one we hoist,

And the next day when we see something wrong,
We walk on along thinking I'm not strong,

Thinking 'who am I' and 'main hoon kaun',
Without thinking that we are the rays of that breaking dawn,

We have the freedom to right these wrongs,
We are united and so we ARE strong,

And when one thought becomes a nation's goal,
We re-incarnate the flames from the coals,

And when the smoke clears, the pure air comes through,
And it is felt with sacrifices of a few,

Because even the fruits of a tree,
Only come from the barial of ONE seed and its creed,

To be alive and not a slave of our times,
So its time to speak and voice out the mimes,

Because beyond the silence and closed doors,
Lies the cold, hard truth and their inner roars,

And when the efforts are endless but we are gone,
Now, THEY see the rays of this breaking dawn,
I'm no soldier, just a pawn..

-Devarsh Pandya

the coming days..

somewhere along my vacation, I had meandered too far into the unknown and now the time has passed but I am back to blog more.. the remaining prompts of the challenge will be coming up soon