The Day Before Prom!

How much time do you need to encase a good dance and a party? How about six hours? My first and last prom will be six hours in length and I am going to attend it to celebrate. To celebrate not only the final year but the years of hard work that led up to it. Also, to celebrate with the people that I've worked with and cherished memories that reside and resonate close to our hearts. I asked a lot of people about their opinion on prom; should I go to prom? The first yes led to all the questions that prevailed..

With friends or date? Should I buy a suit or a tux? Should I wear a Windsor tie or a bow tie? Should I buy dress shoes or POINTY dress shoes? Should I wear my glasses or contacts? Should I wear a white dress shirt and risk looking like a waiter or wear a light pink dress shirt and risk matching with people I don't even know?

I stopped after a bit of this craziness and asked myself.. Was I picking the greater good? or the lesser of two evils?! Then again, I was asking myself yet ANOTHER question, wasn't I? The truth is, I have no idea what I am picking for myself. Not only for prom, but even for the time that is to come. I feel oblivious even after 12 grades of greatness, my mind still wonders, do I know enough to take on this world?
So then, there is one way to take a break here, to distract myself for a bit to prepare for prom as the subconscious thinks up an appropriate explanation and solution to this drowning dilemma.

A Reason To Rejoice, A Reality To Realize.

Today has been a very historic day of my life. I have come to a very strong realization. This time has also convinced me that in order to achieve true righteousness, and chase the world's vast boundaries to explore. You must understand the enormity of the fortunate lives we live today. And the fortunate nature of the people's nature and considerate courtesy. Let me try and lead you into this zone that I have been exploring in my mind.I understand that the past sometimes seems to have been so much different from what we live by in the present. I have been thinking deeply about this feeling and I've come to realize that the reality is actually closer to all these experiences than we have ever interpreted it to be. I have come by this same junction during my journey over the past few weeks. In this expedition of my life, I walk by different people, places and notice that most people feel a 'difference of love' if you will, for one person compared to another. Sometimes because one is 'related' to us in a form of our parents, or children, our siblings or cousins, our spouses and, our uncles or nephews, or aunts or nieces. The truth that I feel is that the relationship between you and that person is an infinite bond that always existed but has either been reinforced because you have recognized them yet again through a 'relation' in this realm of our reality OR is hidden under the dust of doubt and uncertainty. But genuinely, I now feel that I am just as 'related' to the lady that smiles at me when I walk by the bus stop, as I am related to my own mother! If the people of this world would believe this.. even as some sort of 'scientific proven constant', the world would be a completely different place. The love that you hold for one would be almost the same if not the same for another. THIS is my dream! To establish this belief in hearts that love human nature or humanity as a whole. Think it through and imagine it, and focus on the enormity of the change and revolution we will bring! The world we can live in.. for the love of the universe!

I walk through the building and feel the fatigue already. I didn't have any major assignment, lab or exam but I felt it coming. I felt like an animal getting ready for the insinuated change that was about to come from a natural calamity. So, here are the lines that run through my head today as I sit and study.

Its almost like its Friday, but I don't feel any better,
Like I'm stuck in a message, within a letter,
'Cause its crunch time, time to absorb and condense,
Like the water cycle except I'm stressed and tense,
Just waiting for the paper so I can slap it down,
everything BUT the nonsense,

And then I see a problem I don't understand,
I look at the time and watch the second hand,
Time escaping like never before,
And it feels so coveted because it determines,
my future, for evermore...

I wish I could end this entry but my brain is taking over and saying 'All systems are shutting down' so I'll take your leave today and return with new thoughts later.

26/2/11

In these days of overload and work, sometimes I find myself giving up on the small things in life. I kid myself that they aren't as important and that I'll have time for them at some other point in time. But today, I question myself? Will I have time tomorrow? Who knows what 'tomorrow' holds for us. It could be worse and it definitely could be better as well. Even among all the dilemmas, I keep one thing with me that I have learned from many of my friends, and family. That is to keep hope because hope is the willingness to want that hunger within oneself to strive for more. To commit to something impossible. To fight fears and live life to YOUR fullest because you deserve it! So, here are some lines that have summarized my mindframe at the time.

I feel like a teardrop escaping an eye,
Leaving the world of worries, saying goodbye,
To all I endear, complaining why o why,
Can't I just keep it inside and cry,
Put a curtain on it and spit a lie,
But my heart keeps goin' without a sigh,
Its persistent, saying 'the least I can do is try',

To believe and dream for a ray of light,
Keep praying and build faith and might,
So I can get closer to myself and take the ideal flight,
Cuz I'm done with the wrongs, its my time to do it right,
I see my vision, my journey, myself as a kite,
Defiant against a sight at this height,
I soar the clouds but fear the plight,

But I meditate, and pray for a way to my will,
Cuz if I can't live, I don't want to kill,
Myself in this world of moving stills,
I want to climb that mountain, but I'm gonna stand on this hill,
Take a break, and skip pebbles through this rill,
I don't care, I'll face consequences, I'll pay the bills,
But I'm crushing my fear through the mills,
And re-focus, re-gain and redeem and fill,
My veins with elixirs of hope with these pills,

And then the lights shudder and haze,
I thought it was my end, my last phaze,
My days were over but I was dazed,
By my own presence and faith, when I raised,
From my dis-ease and found the keys,
To my fortune of having a future to seize,
To work until I can melt and freeze,
Till its time to shine, when we glide like the breeze.

-Devarsh Pandya

The Super Sammy!

Today is a day that belongs to a very special friend that I've met. She is one of the smartest and most entertaining friends that I've ever
had, this one's for you Ms. Lo.

When I first found out about you,
I could barely force myself to,
Realize that you're the young lady with the reach of an adult who,
Had the coherent linear thoughts with the twist of creativity,
The virtuous nature of a genuine personality,

I bid you an auspicious new beginning from here,
So mark this day and celebrate this new year,
'Cause these moments shall be memories,
So find a place to keep them and a place to bury,
The fears, the uncertainties and worry,

'Cause you'll always have us with you,
In different shapes, and forms, some unreal, some true,
But when its Friday, we'll hit Starbucks with you,
To brew another time, another mission with our crew,
But when the future comes,
I'm sure you'll be going places,
But I'll find you and your traces,
Maybe in L.A., maybe even miami!
But I'll come around to say 'Happy birthday Sammy!'

I hope you have an amazing day and I wish that my wishes be yours for today. Happy Birthday Sammy :D

My Golden Brown Buddy

He's been around for as long as I can remember throughout my high school career.
He has taught me much through these years and our relationship has grown closer and stronger from acquaintances to friends and now.. almost brothers?! Haha I would be more than fortunate to have a brother like him. So, to my just-turned-elder, Mr. Kenneth Kwok, I hope you had an awesome day and here are a few lines to shine some light on those memories we have cherished.

The circuit in his body is filled with just one code,
To keep workin' even with all the load,
He can take the pressure, its my anti-node,
He's ready to strike big, he's in his mode,

He says its time to do it right,
With all I have, all my might,
I gotta keep faith and patience,
Uniting to bring change in relation,

For the singer that makes rockband look like a game,
So I hum this poem cuz its fresh and not the same,

Its my track don't change the station,
Pump it up louder, gotta rock this nation,

Keep crackin' them jokes that are THAT lame,
I feel like I'm goin' wild and I'm losin' my tame,

Cuz he don't rise above until he's done thinkin'
He's the type of the guy that just keeps it in,
Let's his soul bleed on a secret parchment that,
Only he could be readin'
But now that we're happy, I'll be greetin',

All the people that smile for another beginnin',
They say that failures are just lessons in life,
Overlookin' experiences and cutting through strife,

Hopin' for hope and livin' to live,
Its your birthday, but you still have presents to give,
Teachin' me to live, forget and forgive,
I'm glad I have a brother to have around,
So on your day, I want you to live as the king that gets crowned!

-Devarsh

F!RST

It was Canada Day! The first of July. The first day in my new house too. We celebrated our new house with some relatives, family friends and new neighbours that we had just acquainted with. We took a walk out to the Cedarbrae Golf Club and enjoyed the party and fireworks they had planned for the community. As new members of this community, my family and I jumped to the situation and met some more neighbours from our street.

Today, once again I woke up to the melody of my alarm clock that I had been gifted by my close friend. I woke up and literally stared at it for 2 to 3 minutes until I decided that I should pay all my friends in my old neighbourhood a visit. So, I had some lunch and I made my way to my old house. The bus ride was something I had never experienced before. It was different, it actually allowed me to live in a perspective where I was a bystander and I didnt have to make a choice, or a decision that would make anything go different or what I really feared, make anything go wrong. I learned to become a more organized individual who had better time-management skills. But today was different, I was going with one sole responsibility, to put a smile on my friend's face because he was all alone now.

But the fear still creeps inside my head but I tell myself, 'I'm ready'. It's my last year and last chance to get the grades that will put a smile on my face. Those days and memories are like coveted jewels for me now. The transition from the previous year to 'senior' year doesn't feel like a transition at all. Even after organizing and re-organizing notes, on exam days you always end up with a big pile of papers and a notebook to do more review. All in all, grade twelve has been a crazy year (just as promised) and has taught me many life lessons. I have come out from semester one feeling like a more informed, confident and determined student.

My 5 subject notebook filled with Chemistry, Physics and Calculus notes is my concrete proof to show how I have changed. I actually learned to take notes from one of my closest friends at school. He showed me his notes and I understood the vital role it played in his awesome marks that I envied very passionately at times. So, I decided to use his full-proof method and now I take notes in class and review each and every day in the bus ride home. It looks to be working, we'll see the results when the Calculus test comes back hahaha..

One last mention before I close today's post, I owe this to a very close friend of mine. She reminded me about my blog and how important this medium of communication is. Thanks Ms. Jor. It is almost vital for me, but I hope it is helpful to someone else out there too. During the times when I had stopped my blogging, I actually went to another way of sharing my thoughts, and this medium was poetry. So starting from today's post, I'll try to weave some poetry with these thoughts.

30/10/10

You gaze up above,
And leave it to fate,
Even in this thrist for love,
In a desert of hate,

School is a gateway to some of the knowledge I've gained,
Its taught me to learn that strength comes from pain,
It`s a pain to hold this love from you now,
there is no gain,
Now that I`ve met you, all I want to prove is,
that this affection isnt feign,

Those magical memories to our different
friendship and knowing,
As if we`ve spent an eternity growing,
Through the pool of experiences to
return what we`ve been owing,

Using gusts of wind as hope,
and time as oars,
But all you face are slamming doors,
And you manifest a silence,
shutting out the inner roars,

Where the reality is a seeping black pool of ink,
On a sheet of pure white potential which acts like a link,
To your dreams and perseverance,
and this time you know you wont sink,

This is the moment where your head hangs in a bow,
The eyes close and the universe answers how!
You will achieve your destination
and you`ll get there now,

At last you gaze up above,
And leave it to fate,
Even in this thirst for love,
You live your life because its never too late,

With the aid of the world,
as if you`ve declared your inception,
People and places lining up to your perception,
At the end, you find the start to your adventure,
Because you are the masterpiece of your own sculpture!

A very good night to everyone and hope to get back to all of you again,
My love to one and all,

-Devarsh Pandya