There has been a tumultuous whirlpool of thoughts in my mind for the past few days and today.. the storm has passed. Dealing with death in the family is not something one can endure by themselves and it becomes only easier with open communication with others loved ones.
So, how did these unending, and twisted thoughts suddenly leave me alone I wondered. A certain conversation with someone I know probably had a lasting impression and influence on me. I feel that I drew many powerful conclusions despite their simplicity in which they were presented.
I realize even more now.. that judging is a big part of the problem from the very beginnings of when you are introduced to a new environment, practice, person, or object. All that I really need to judge is whether the karma I am about to do is good or not. And thankfully, everyone is born with that inner voice that constantly guides you to make these decisions. But at the same time, we all know in our hearts how many times we follow that inner guide. Like a farmer, we sow our own futures with today's karma and tomorrow, they will materialize into something that will either help you or resist you from reaching higher spiritual grounds. So what if you haven't done good karma till today (whether it is an immoral thought.. or an action that had immoral means to an end.. or evil ends themselves)? You will definitely be paying for that but you have already been blessed with this human body. This birth is relevant because it means that the creator does see something in you that you can cultivate and reach that source/creator. There is a 'lakshya' (goal) and if the creator has made everyone in his own image, then you also have that 'lakshan' (lakshya-anu: a part and parcel of the ability to reach that 'lakshya'). On the topic of different births a soul takes, a question had arisen whether the creator was just a selfish person who had made millions of creatures just to hear his own praises in their prayers. And the same principle was used to rid the doubt.. If everyone has a part and parcel of the creator, you aren't worshipping anyone else but yourselves to start! The topic of balance also came up a few times.. Balance of keeping a good personal life, professional life, and spiritual life as well. And often times, people never have the time and/or energy for the spiritual work they need to do. Firstly, in this new birth and new awakening, you may not realize the paths you have had to cross to get till here and so you may not see the importance of this spiritual work you need to do. And like a mother has to sometimes force her child to stop playing and do their homework.. Or like a dirty vessel has to be scraped and scrubbed in order for it to be cleaned properly.. Action must be taken. And you cannot have excuses about your health or family environment or any physical adversity in this external world because this work entails interacting your soul with the Supreme soul (atma to Param-atma). You wouldn't stop eating just because you're a bit ill.. You wouldn't stop loving your family either.. So, why let it stop you from continuing to nurture a bond with the creator? This is where the importance of your faith comes in as well. Our minds are always comparing results we get from the amount of efforts we put in.. Something with greater results and fewer efforts seems easy, and the opposite also. And let it be known to yourself that the results you will receive will take long durations, and seem an exercise in futility. It's important to be gradual in this process. If one is being introduced to it, even more important.. like a baby coming into this world. It's fed with liquids at first, semi-solids, and finally solids as well when it can digest it. So, I've learned to give myself the time and environment for this knowledge as well.. to discover it, challenge it, finally believe it and then digest it. Another important thing I realized with more emphasis this time around is the fact that this knowledge should come to you at its natural pace as well. It keeps its sanctity and purity in this way. It's not like knowing this knowledge will change your daily interactions with people. You will still be living, and speaking to people with the same respectful and courteous way.. but you will finally be able to see yourself with a clearer lens and make yourself ready to reach out into the abundance of energy and harmony within. I am not speaking from experience but every great person who has ever walked the planet has only learned about themselves and changed themselves to attain their goals. So before we embark upon becoming great, realized individuals.. let's start by being great humans first and then hopefully, we will be able to commence a journey to higher spiritual learning as well.
-Dévarsh-
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